Your life as art!

Sometimes, hmm, probably mostly after the children have gone to bed – I will ponder life. (No time for that during daytime).

I mean, during my day-to-day-life, there isn’t much mystery to it. You do the same thing everyone else does. Get up, wake the children up, try and coax them into getting dressed, eating some breakfast and getting to school / daycare in time. Getting yourself to where you need to be. I mean, yeah, no need to go on about that part of life. We all do it. It’s a lot of stress, and I forget about any sort of mystery to my life. It’s all routine and such.

Until…. the children sleeps! 😀

I’ve always been quite curious about life, and what it means to be alive. When I was younger, I listened to a lot of Alan Watts lectures. Ram Dass. Terence McKenna. Read many spiritual sort of books. I did mushrooms, DMT, ayahuasca. It all opened me up to see some mystery to life. Back then, I thought I would eventually end up in some advanced stage of being or something. Like, my life would be transformed due to me having such cool experiences and what not.

But I don’t know. I think it sort of shifted, and I’m not so interested in psychedelics anymore. I’ve become more practical now. Back then, I thought I would find peace and happiness as a result of having had experiences like.. I don’t know, seeing the meaning of life, visiting aliens or whatever the fuck you do on such substances LOL. But it’s just, it’s still life just being life when you get back. Still have to do the dishes and wrestle the kids into their clothes in the morning. Pretty much not so glorious as I might have thought it would be.

Now, every once in a while, I feel like, there is an art to just trying to live life. Especially having slowed down a little with all the massive dopamine thiefs like porn and excessive doomscrolling – that something else emerges. A little quietness that feels rare and precious. I mean hey, I’m NOT trying to sound pretentious here. I’m just as fucked up as anyone. I’m just a little happy about finding some quietness in my head from time to time, due to some positive changes in my life.

It makes me think that maybe there is an art to living your life? Like, imagine, you are pretty much free to do as you please. You can eat unhealthy food (which I do), saturate your mind with cheap entertainment and sort of, generally not take good care of yourself. Or, you can try to sort of change that, and do some things that in the long run, you will probably be happy that you did! Like, eating better, moving your body, respecting yourself and others.

That stuff is hard! But it makes you a bit happier. It just seems like there is some sort of art to doing that. Like, you don’t need to be a master at an instrument to be an artist in that way. You just live your life according to some sort of truth that resonates with you. And in that process, I think you can sort of find something that seems real. But it’s super easy to forget it. At least I forget it all the time, until I have some time to sit down and just do nothing for a little while.

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